Monday, 6 December 2010

I'm Not Terrific But I'm Competent

As I was getting sick of Bosco’s obsessing over his ‘Bosco Base’ speed I decided to risk going back to mine to see if I’d any post like my bi-monthly porn subscription for example.

On the way up Tate’s Avenue the snow began to fall heavily and above in the sky I could see, through the slowly drifting graceful flakes arranged thick as television static, the headlights of an aeroplane shining through the squall.

I stuck my thumb in the air, hoping to flag it down, and I reminded me of this track:

Glad of the snow when I got to my street as I thought it might camouflage me from any pigs I nevertheless shuffled along ever on-the-lookout for phlorescent jackets, but then began to worry when I chanced upon the possibility the sneaky bastards might go undercover this time.

Next door the kids had built a large snowman which I didn’t notice at first but when I did it made me jump. It was a grotesque thing in its resemblance to a thalidomide humanoid and by the fact there was a slim possibility that there might be a pig inside it waiting to pounce.

I got in the house and was glad and calmed to find my porno had arrived.

I turned the heat on and got myself all snuggled up in bed with my porno. Then the fucking door is rapped. My boner shrivelled up so quick and actually I think retracted a little into my body so afraid was I all of a sudden.

I crawled on my hands and knees into the front room where I keep my ironing board and very stealthy like sneaked a look out the window at my car, the driver’s side window to be precise, to see in the reflection who it was.

What it looked like, my caller, was a girl, indeterminate age, blonde. Couldn’t rate her ass under her big heavy duffel coat, nor her tits as I could only see her from behind.

And completely forgetting they might have sent a sow round undercover (my dick getting the better of me again) I threw on a dressing gown and went down the stairs to answer it to her.

She were around 16. Lovely rosy cheeks, pinched by the cold, reasonable tits, even under the duffel coat, and hips round and plentiful like a rising sun.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Did you know its 22 days till we celebrate the birth of our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?
- I was vaguely aware yes. I’ll have plenty of time till get him a card, won’t I? But with the Post Office and the state of it, you never know.
- Oh hahaha, very funny. You’re a very funny man...Well anyway, its Jesus’ birthday soon, and the younger members of the local Methodist are canvassing the area seeing if people around the ages of 16-35 –
- That’s me, - I nearly lied.
- Yes well, if you’d be interested then in joining us some Saturday evening in the church hall for some fun & fellowship?
At this I look my cock out and let it hang there like a poached armadillo.
- You know the only fun and fellowship you can have without no beer and drugs? I said, squeezing it to hardness, - this kind, - said I, nodding down at my now capacity length 6 and a half inches.

The girl’s eyes big as saucers and protruding out of her lovely sweet teenage face roughly pushed me back into the hall, threw her clipboard at Boke the Cat, who ran upstairs, got down on her knees and ate it greedily. Wet, smooth and deep.

I thought to myself, I don’t want to cum in this grotty hall of mine, so I led her by the hair into the living room, over to the curtains, pulled them, then put this one on the turntable and blasted it. To. Fuck:

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