Tuesday, 8 September 2009

'mockin's catchin''

Micheesha came over today with my e’s. She walked in with big coconut shell earphones singing Crimson & Clover

- Crimson and Clover durgh-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner/ahhhhhhh/but when she comes walking over/I’ve been waitin to show her/ crimson and clover/ over and over//
She came into my hall and started spinning round and round in little circles like a fuckin eejit. When she stopped she tilted her head right back and then she began bobbing her head, very slightly, like she were having a slo-mo fit. She rolled her eyes back and her mouth, open wide, hung loosely.
It were as if she were going for the spectacular gaunt look the ‘scene girls’ have, like they’ve spooned ketamine into their coffee. She looked like one of those poor-unfortunate Romanian orphans you see every once in a while on the TV news rocking back and forth in their crib.
- Stop that immediately! - I scolded. – it’s like you’re mocking the afflicted when you get on like that. And you know what ma says, ‘Mockin’s catchin’. So watch out!’
- How is the auld cunt? –
- Don’t say that! She’s alright, apart from I think she’s starting to get the menopause.
- Ahh right. So she’s gonna be a even more of a melter for the next 6 months, then?
- Aye – I said.
Micheesha handed over the e’s. They were in a big jiffy bag. I held it up and looked inside it at them all.
- You gonna sell em? – she asked
- Some – I replied – the rest are for me. –
- Well take it easy on em – she advised. – remember last time, you went on a downer for ages. Remember a week into your blue I caught you pissin’ in the sink all over the dinner plates? –
- Aye, but so? What’s one thing got to do with the other? Depressed as you could ever be why would you piss in the sink? I was watchin the boxin. I didn’t wanna miss it. –
- Nah, nah, nah. You were so down you couldn’t tell the sink from the toilet. You were fuckin spasticified, man! –
- Don’t think so. Think your confusin bein depressed with bein blind.
- Nah. Remember the mornin after when you got in an' you told me you’d never take e’s again, then you took oneie ma's ladles and started drinkin outta the fish tank with it?
- How’m I meant to remember that. I was bingoed. Anyway I’ve a story to tell you that Aloysius told me. I can’t really make sense of it, but in tellin you it it might start to become clearer to me... -

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